This is War
by PervyMonk
Summary: Prince Light of the country Sol has invaded the Noble Country of Whammy in a desperate power struggle, pulling L into a job he never wanted. AU, Eventual LXLight, established MattXMello Started in '08.


Title: This Is War

Chapter One: The Noble Country Whammy

Summary: Prince Light was going to regret ever declaring war on L's country.

Warnings: Since this is an AU, some characters may be OOC. Sorry. And this is going to be one of those epic fics that bounces back and forth from slightly serious to downright ridiculous so brace yourselves!And I'm rather fond of writing in the present tesne so if it switches to past tense, then it's probably a flashback or something. Probably. Also, let's just say for simplicity's sake that the language spoken in Whammy is English and the language spoken in Sol is Japanese. ^_^

T_he Whammy line had always descended from father to son, father to son. However, Quillish Whammy XII broke tradition entirely and just never had any children. (Because when you're inventing you have no time for trivial things such as fornicating or ruling a country.) _

_Thus Quillish Whammy XII (Or Watari, as he liked to be called) chose as his heir a young orphan boy. This boy was known only as L. He raised him to become a great man and, one day, king of a great nation. But just as Watari had no desire to rule a country, so it was with L. _  
_L's dream since childhood has been to become a detective. Ridding his country of crime was L's ultimate goal! However, crimes were a rarity in Whammy because the country was in a state of perpetual peace. So L satisfied his desire to solve crimes abroad. _

_He was, needless to say, surprised to be summoned home because of a war._

"...An attack? " Watari nods gravely. L brings his thumb to his lips.

"Interesting. Who is attacking?"

"The country Sol." L snorts.

"Figures. Prince Light's lust for power is anything but a secret. Where did they attack?"

"The bordertown of . I have some defensive strageties. Here, let me find that map." Watari wanders over to a set of immense mahgoney shelves.

"The casualities?" Watari exhales a shaky breath.

"The entire village." L bites his thumb.

"That's thirteen thousand people." Watari nods gravely and begins searching the dusty shelves. L muses that it's most likely the books are there for decoration rather than reading. One did not have time for idle fancies when ruling a country, after all. L rolls his eyes up to the ceiling. His eyes follow the intricate pattern of blue and yellow diamonds against an alabaster background. L makes a face. Yellow is way to bright for the mood of his thoughts. Whoever picked yellow and blue for a throne room was better off dead, in L's opinion. He faintly hears Watari rummaging through maps and offical documents, occasionally muttering to himself. He also hears small snickers that interrupt his almost meditation. He slides his gaze over to a yellow curtain that is mysteriously shuffling about. He tiptoes over to said living curtain.

"Man, you really are a bastard Mello." A voice sighs.

"Hey, I was coming to put the map back in it's right place! This just happens to be more amusing."

"Indeed." A blonde youth makes a strangled sound and falls onto his red-haired companion. The redhead grins.

"Hey, L." L is crouched down next to the boys behind the curtain.

"Hello, Matt."

"Jeez, L! Where do you get off scaring us like that?" Matt raises an eyebrow.

"Us? And quit clinging to me, Mello!" Mello 'humphs' and shoves away from him.

"Good to see you too, Mello." L smiles serenely.

"Oh dear." Watari's voice broke into the fray. "First the map and now I've lost L..." L shoots a mischevious look at the two youths.

"Shall we see how long it takes for him to find us?" The boys grin and nod eagerly. It takes Watari exactly six minutes and forty seconds before he finally exclaims,

"L! I can see your feet sticking out of the curtain!" L wiggles his toes.

"Can you? However, you found me four minutes and twenty five seconds faster than the last time I hid. Good job, Watari." Watari pulls the curtain back. "You really must desist-Matt! Mello! What are you doing here?" Mello looks around guiltly.

"...Hanging out with Matt and L?" Matt slaps his forehead.

"That the best you can come up with, genius?" Mello turns and hits his best friend in the arm.

"You should probably tell Watari where the map is, Mello." L offers, studying his toes.

"It was you who moved it?" Watari asks. Mello nods. "Well, where is it then?"

"Bottom left drawer. It's underneath that big ass book of history." Watari baps him on the head.

"Ow!"

"Watch your mouth, young man. It's very unbecoming." And with that, Watari strides over to the bottom left drawer, underneath the big ass book of history.

"Shouldn't you two be with Roger?" L asks conversationally, standing up. Matt jumps to his feet, making a disgusted face.

"You mean the Royal Nanny? No way!" Mello pouts, still sitting on the ground, and holds a hand out to Matt. Matt rolls his eyes.

"You're such a girl." Matt mutters but pulls him up anyway. Mello punches him in the stomach but the blow is softer than what it would have been if it had hit anyone but Matt. L smiles but then his face falls back into it's normally detatched expression as Watari calls him.

"L, come here and have a look at this." L ruffles Matt and Mello's hair before shuffling over to Watari.

"Yes?" Watari points at the map.

"If we have forts here, here and here then-"

"That's assuming Sol attacks this side of the country again." L interrupts.

"He attacked by sea." Watari argues.

"It would take months if he attacked by land. The only option they'll likely take is attacking the coast since they will be able to get here faster."

"It is likely, yes. But Prince Light is fastidious. He will take any measure necessary to one up his enemy. He'd probably attack from land just to spite us. No, no. Defense alone won't work." L nibbles on his thumb. "To win, we have to attack." Watari pales.

"But, L...think of the lives lost!"

"Watari, we've already lost thirteen thousand people to Sol. And I'm not going to let them kill anymore. For those lives lost..." He fixes his piercing gaze onto Watari. "...I will win this war."Watari nods.

"I trust your judgement, L. I'll mobilize the military at once." Matt and Mello stare at their idol in awe.

"Just like that..." Matt breathes.

"...we're at war." Mello finishes. His lips have trouble forming the words and his voice is but a whisper.

"Yes," L says. "We are at war." He walks over and ruffles the boys' hair again. "Why don't you find Nanny Roger? I'm sure he's worried about you."

"Way to dismiss, L." Matt mutters, turning to leave.

"No." Mello shakes his head. "Is war really the best way to handle this?" L crouches down on the floor and pats the spot next to him. Mello plops down gracelessly.

"What would be the best way, Mello?" L asks gently.

"Assassination." Mello answers automatically. Matt walks over and sits beside Mello. He cringes as Watari suddenly freezes. L tilts his head.

"Assassination. What a large word."

"Don't patronize me!" Mello snaps. Then he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath because he's talking to _L._ L takes no notice.

"Who do you suggest we assassinate?"

"Prince Light." Mello knows the answer is obvious and L is just testing him. L leans foward slightly.

"And how would this help us?"

"Well, he's basically the king because his father is ill, right? The entire country of Sol depends on Light Yagami's leadership. Take away the foundation and the building crumbles." L bites his thumb.

"Interesting, Mello. Devious as well. No, assassination is dishonourable." Mello's face falls. "Plus, there are too many loopholes. How would we kill him? Why wouldn't we get caught?" He pats the boy's shoulder and winks. "However, answer these questions and I may consider using the idea."

Mello flushes. Matt pulls his goggles up slightly to give L an incredulous look. Watari makes a strangled noise in the background. "So, " Mello starts slowly.

"If I can find a way to kill Yagami without being caught then..."

"Then I would definitely consider using the idea." L affirms. Mello grins and stands, pulling Matt along with him.

"All right then, L! You just wait and see! I'll totally find a way! Right, Matt?" L almosts misses the small smile that graces Matt's lips.

"With my help, right Mello?" Mello's grin widens.

"Of course! Every good bloke needs a sidekick!" Matt aims a playful kick at his friend's calf as they stroll out. Watari walks up behind L.

"You shouldn't tease the children like that, L." he reprimands. L shrugs.

"It's good for the children to come up with their own solutions. And besides," He shoots a sly smile over his shoulder. "I wasn't kidding." And after hearing another strangled sound from his mentor, L decides it is time to go get some cake.

Near! This is his chance to finally beat Near! ...only he has no idea where to start.

Damn it!

Poison? No. It's traceable.

Bribe a servant to kill him? Even worse. People have a nasty habit of talking when being tortured.

Mello needs something clean, something untraceable. Something that will prove once and for all that he is worthy of being L's successor. Something that will make him number one. Mello growls and rolls out of bed. Matt stirs at the soft thumping sound.

"Hizajigawhat?" he mumbles in his sleep.

"I'm going for a walk, Matt." Mello announces to his sleeping sidekick.

"Penguins." He gets in reply. He twitches and briefly considers kicking Matt's bed. Instead, he answers,

"Yes, Matt. Penguins." He rolls his eyes and sneaks out of the room. He tiptoes down the dark hallway. He presses his hand against the wall for support. If he got caught by Roger (again), there would be hell to pay.

For Roger.

Mello often sneaks out of his room to think. Being surrounded by four walls all the time decreases his reasoning ability by 40%. He nimbly manuveurs his way through doors and hallways until he arrives at the throne room. He remembers the conversation that was held here earlier that day. (Not that he'd ever forgotten it.) He plops down on the floor. Bringing his knees to his chest, he begins to contemplate solutions to his strange dilemma.

Stage an accident? No, too many variables.

Hire an assassian? That might actually work if said assassian avoids gettting caught.

Mello ponders the fact that he is trying to figure out the best way top take a human life while he opens his chocolate bar. He thinks that it should bother him but it doesn't. After all, Yagami started it. He nods now that his conviction is set.

Drowning? Now he is just being ridiculous.

"Man," he sighs. "Plotting an assassination sure is difficult."

"Mello?" A scowl pulls Mello's lips when he hears the sound of that annoyingly quiet voice.

"Near." He doesn't bother turning around. He hopes the brat will get the hint and bugger off. Near plops down beside him, shooting his trademark sleepy smile at him. He has a teddy bear clutched in one hand and a large book in the other.

"What are you doing up, Mello?" he asks.

"None of your business, thats what." Mello answers irritably. Then he shoots Near a questioning look. "What are you doing up?"

"I left my book in here earlier." Near explains, gesturing toward the large book in his left hand. He pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his head on them. "I hear was attacked."

"You figured that out, did you? Good for you." Mello says sarcastically.

"I didn't have to figure anything out. I found out the same way you did."

"You eavesdropped?" Near nods. "And you didn't get caught?" Near shakes his head. Mello can't fight the wave of jealousy that washes over him. Must Near be better than him at everything?

"So, do you often sneak out at night?" Near asks coversationally.

"...Yeah. All the time. Every night." Mello boasts. He's exaggerating a bit but come on. It's _Near_. "I've never gotten caught because I'm a ninja." Total bullshit but Mello won't admit defeat at the hands of Roger to Near.

Ever.

Near smiles and Mello just wants to deck him.

"Yeah. Me neither." Mello seethes. He's better at rebelling too? Mello rips a chunk off of his chocolate bar. "Have you ever read this?"

"No." Mello sneers. Near wordlessly slides it over to him. '_**A Concise and Noble History of the Country Whammy'**_ glitters faintly in faded gold lettering, like a dying star. Mello picks it up. He weighs it in his hand. He's overcome with the the sudden urge to bean Near with it. But he controls himself because it's late and he's tired and he really doesn't want to have to explain to Roger why Near can't get a history book out of his eye socket.

"History, huh?" Mello scoffs. "You're such a nerd, Near." Near just shrugs again. God, that pisses Mello off.

"Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it." Near stands up.

"Ch." "You should read it." Near repeats and fixes that unnerving stare of his on Mello. Not that it bothers Mello. No. Not at all. He turns and walks off. "It'll give us both something to have in common."

He leaves Mello alone, staring at the book. He breifly considers taking the book with him. After all, he is always looking for new reading material. He stands up, leaving the stupid book on the floor. The less he has in common with Near, the better. Mello exits the throne room, clinging to the walls.

He sneaks past Roger's room again and avoids the creaky floorboards. He cringes as his bedroom door squeaks. He hides in the shadows and listens to his own breathing for a few moments until he is satistfied that no one is following him.

"I'm back, Matt." he annouces."

"J'Nuh." He sighs and falls back onto his bed.

"Yes, Matt. J'Nuh." He sighs and falls onto his bed. His eyes are heavy and begging for sleep. He'd think of Yagami's assassination tomorrow.

L never sleeps. Well, that is to say he hardly ever sleeps. So this is why he is currently engaged in wandering aimlessly around Whammy's House. (Watari hates the word palace. He believes it to be too grandiose. So he insists that everyone call it a house instead.) L walks through the garden, admiring the flowers in the moonlight. A fond smile creeps up on his face as he remembers the summer his successors spent toiling over the zinnas and the primroses. Then the smile deserts him just as quickly.

His successors.

The three boys who compete for his throne in the event of his untimely death. L wouldn't wish royalty on anyone. He is so glad that Matt could care less about ruling the country. That made one less worry for L.

He idly wonders how Mello is progressing on his assassination plot. Hopefully he is asleep by now. L walks into the palace, leaving the serene stillness of the garden behind.

The halls echo with nothing more than his footfalls. No one else is awake, leaving L in complete solitude. He continues his walk down the winding halls, twisting this way and turning that way. He takes his time because he isn't in any hurry. He has all night to wander and think.

What to do about Sol? He shakes his head. He's only had the displeasure of meeting Light Yagami once. It had been two years ago at one of Watari's "diplomatic conferences" that he likes to throw every so often. (L likes to call them diplomatic tea parties when Watari isn't listening.) The boy had been...rather young then. Fourteen, maybe fifteen at the most. L had refused to make an appearance and had instead holed himself up in the library. He had been working on solving one of the few crimes that had taken place in Whammy. As soon as he heard the oak doors creak open, he had hidden himself behind a bookcase.

"Hello?" A soft voice called. A moment of silence, then a "Huh. Must not be anyone here." Footsteps echoed, getting closer and closer to L until they ceased. L peeked out through a gap in the books. His eyes rested on the prettiest child he had ever seen. The child was standing where he had been working only a few moments before. He leaned over the table and reached for a sheet of paper.

"Do not touch that." Startled, the boy jumped away from the table.

"Hello?" He asked again, this time cautiously.

"My, my. You certainly are nosy." The boy spun to look behind him. L resisted a joyful snicker.

"Who's there?" The boy demanded.

"I see no reason to tell you since you would have no idea who I really am. Introduce yourself, since you so rudely interrupted my work." "...Light." The boy answered carefully.

"Light Yagami." "Are you now? So tell me, Yagami-kun, why are you so far from the throne room?"

"Hey! Don't change the subject! Tell me who you are!" The boy demanded again.

"I never said I'd introduce myself." L allowed a laugh to escape at the boy's flustered expression. Light's face had become an even darker shade of red. Not being able to find a response, the boy deftly changed the subject. (Albeit with a scowl on his face.)

"You mind if I look at these?" He gestured to the papers that litter the desk.

"Yes." The boy frowned. L could tell by his expression that the boy was never denied anything.

"Why not?" He asked and his tone held a slight pouting quality.

"Because it is none of your concern, impetuous child." The frown deepened and the boy looked as if he had been struck.

"It's about the robbery that took place here two weeks ago, right? " L tsked.

"Nosy." Light glared at a shelf of books that L was not hiding behind.

"Well, is it?"

"Yes. Yes it is." The boy hopped up to sit on the desk. He idly fingered the files.

"My opinion is that the theif isn't from Whammy." L leaned against the shelf of books he was hiding behind and crossed his arms.

"I don't recall asking for your opinion." he said, watching the boy glare. "I am of the same opinion, however."

"...Really?" Light perked up with sudden enthusiasm. L nodded, then remembered that the boy couldn't see it.

"Yes. Now how did you arrive at this conclusion?"

"Well, it's obvious. Whammy is a country free of crime. It's the closet thing to a utopia we have on this planet. Why would anyone do anything to ruin that?"

"Some people are just like that." L answered.

"That alone isn't reason enough. It'd never hold up in court. What else? Or is that all you have?" Light closed his eyes and L swore he was counting to ten. Sure enough, when ten seconds were up, he opened his eyes and answered.

"The sunglasses found at the crime seen. They were made on a small island off the coast of Prometheus, correct?"

"Yes."

"This indicates that the theif is a traveler, possibly a pirate." L couldn't stop the full-blown grin that conquered his face. He brought a thumb to his lips.

"You came to this conclusion just from the sunglasses alone?" Light nodded, and looked rather pleased with himself.

"Your reasoning matches mine exactly. I must say I'm very impressed, Yagami-kun."

"Thanks. Now will you tell me who you are?"

"...I am L." A small gasp escaped from the boy.

"L? Really? Where are you?"

"Not telling." Light looked at a bookcase again and this time it was the one L was hiding behind. Their eyes locked through the gap in the books that L had been observing Light through. A tense moment passed and then Light began to run straight for L. L ducked behind another bookcase just as the boy slid around the corner.

"Where are you?" He demanded.

"What's the matter, Light-kun? Can't find me?"

"Over there!" L listened to the frantic footfalls pursuing him as he ran. They weaved through the bookcases, knocking books off the shelves in their haste. L flew past the ancient volumes he had spent his childhood pouring over without a second thought. All that mattered was the game. And not getting caught, of a burst of speed he ran to the window and pulled the curtians back. He slipped out and let the curtian fall behind him. Light saw the curtian move and cried,

"The window!" L just barely made it to the giant rowan tree before the boy stumbled out into the grass. He flattened himself against the trunk and peaked around the corner. The boy turned his head frantically from side to side, looking for a figure to chase after.

L chuckles as he fondly remembers Light's enthusiastic bout of swearing. But then he expression darkens as he also rembers that Light declared war on his country. He ceases in his wandering and finds that his feet have brought him to the throne room. He turns to leave when he spots a large book on the floor. He walks over and picks it up between his forefinger and his thumb.

**_A Concise and Noble History of the Country Whammy._**

"This might prove to be entertaining." He mutters to himself as he exits the room.

It's been a while since he's studied his history.


End file.
